Oh boy! Never thought 2019 would start with a heap of emotional turmoil, especially when things were starting to look a bit better. But, I guess many of you have been in my shoes, or have been through much much worse, and still managed to land on your feet. And often, that thought alone makes me feel weak. It makes me feel inadequate while I’m wailing in my sorrows. Sometimes I wonder, what’s the point of it all. We are all insignificant in the grand scheme of things, anyway. Even if we pull off something extraordinary, something remarkable, those are gonna remain for next couple thousands of years maybe, at best. Because, either something better is gonna come along, or it’ll eventually become irrelevant. So, why go through all this pain, why suffer? Why not just end it, right here, right now?
But then again, somewhere in the back of my mind, it feels like a cheap excuse, or more precisely, an easy way out. Given the potential a human life has, it feels like a criminal offense, to prevent it from spreading its wings, with all its glory. Life’s not easy, that much I’ve realized in the 29 years of my existence. And it’s not gonna get even a bit easier from here. Knowing that, I feel it’s more beneficial to redirect all that anger and frustration to make something creative. So, if I’m in the mood to curse someone with the filthiest words in my vocabulary, I think I’d rather spend some time composing a piece in Phrygian Dominant, or in Diminished maybe. We can even spice it up with a pinch of Locrian, just the right proportions. And hopefully, someday that might become a composition that we all can relate to. Something that we can dedicate to that special someone in our lives. Who cares whether it’s gonna be remembered for the next thousand years. You and I won’t be there for that long anyway. But at least I’ll be happy that I created something authentic, staying true to my self. After all, isn’t life all about being at peace with yourself?
There’s one realization though, that there will always be people who’ll want to hurt you, even if you’re the revered Dalai Lama. And it’s been reinforced again and again through life’s grinding experiences. This mostly stems from immaturity, and in some unfortunate cases, from ill intention. Human evolution hasn’t been totally perfect, sadly. When I had experienced something similar for the first time, in my naiveté I assumed, perhaps it was I, who was at flaw. So I took an excavation trip inside my mind. Digging through all the junks in the imaginary wasteland, I got tired and restless, but never found what I was looking for. It wasn’t there. Perhaps, it wasn’t supposed to be. And when that realization hit me hard on the face, I think at that moment, my illusions fell apart. And I feel grateful for that. So, be careful of such people. Don’t succumb to the pressure at any cost, however small the compromises may seem at that moment. These people will never give up, unless you make them so. Face them, look at them eye-to-eye and tell them to move, ’cause they’re standing in your way. Stand tall, and stand bold, like a mighty oak tree, and they’ll eventually disperse, because nobody likes a strong adversary. From your mind, and your troubled thoughts, remove them. Let them fade away, slowly but surely. You have much better things to accomplish in this one life you got, than wasting energy on negative people. You know what a wise man once said?
When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world — “No, YOU move.”– Steve Rogers
On the brighter side, there are also people, out there, who love you deeply, and selflessly. Be grateful for their companionship, and try to reciprocate it likewise. And most importantly, try to surround yourself with such people. As the saying goes:
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.– Jim Rohn
Adios for now fellas. Hope you don’t have to go through too much crap in your lives. But even if you have to, make it your ally to improve yourself, instead of bitching about it. May all of you lead incredible lives. See ya.